


Resolution

by elstarwarslover



Series: The Other Other Epilogues [12]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Accidental kidnapping, Breaking the Law, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Chatlogs, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Gen, Grand theft auto, Kidnapping, Learning To Communicate, Minor Kismesissitude, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Starting a new life, new feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22270945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elstarwarslover/pseuds/elstarwarslover
Summary: Terezi and Vriska try to start a new life on Earth C.  Also known as what to do when a little bit of stealing becomes a lot a bit of kidnapping.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, John Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, June Egbert/Terezi Pyrope, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Series: The Other Other Epilogues [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594504
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is an experiment in coming up with a longer, self-contained story. By the end, it'll hopefully sit at about 10,000 words.

VRISKA: So Terezi.  
TEREZI: Y34H WH4TS UP  
VRISKA: What do we do now?  
TEREZI: TH4T 1S HON3STLY 4 GR34T QU3ST1ON  
TEREZI: 1 D1DN’T TH1NK 1’D M4K3 1T TH1S F4R  
VRISKA: You didn’t have any plans for when we got 8ack?  
TEREZI: NOT R34LLY  
TEREZI: 1 HON3STLY D1DN’T 3V3N ST1CK 4ROUND TO S33 HOW 3V3RYON3 S3TTL3D 1N 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3  
TEREZI: 1F 1’M B31NG P3RF3CTLY HON3ST  
TEREZI: 1 THOUGHT 1T’D T4K3 4 LOT LONG3R TO F1ND YOU  
VRISKA: Well, shit.  
VRISKA: May8e you could text June?  
VRISKA: The two of you did seem to have a little something pitch going on 8etween you.  
TEREZI: OH Y34H  
TEREZI: SH3’S PR3TTY COOL 1 GU3SS  
TEREZI: DON’T 3V3R T3LL H3R 1 S41D TH4T OR 1’LL GUT YOU BOTH  
VRISKA: Cross my heart and hope to die.  
VRISKA: 8ut yeah, it might be nice to like, have a house or something.  
VRISKA: I don’t know whether or not I can actually die of exposure, 8ut you sure can, and um.  
VRISKA: I don’t think I need to say that I’d really rather that not happen.  
TEREZI: Y34H Y34H W4T3V3R  
TEREZI: DON’T G3T TOO S4PPY 4BOUT 1T

TEREZI: H3Y 3GB3RT  
JUNE: oh hey terezi!  
JUNE: what’s up?  
TEREZI: VR1SK4 4ND 1 4R3 B4CK ON 34RTH C  
TEREZI: W3R3 GONN4 SW1NG BY YOUR PL4C3 4ND F1GUR3 OUT WH4T TO DO N3XT  


VRISKA: What'd she say?  
TEREZI: W3R3 GOOD TO GO OF COURS3  
VRISKA: Well then let's go!  


Vriska and Terezi take to the sky but stop a second later.

TEREZI: W41T 1 N33D H3R 4DDR3SS  
VRISKA: God damn it.

JUNE: oh okay!  
JUNE: come on over.  
TEREZI: WH3R3 TH3 FUCK DO YOU L1V3  
JUNE: oh yeah.  
JUNE: you do need directions don't you.  
JUNE: okay so the corners of all four kingdoms meet in one square.  
JUNE: you can't miss it.  
JUNE: there's a giant stadium right next to it.  
JUNE: lemme know when you get there.  
TEREZI: UGH OK4Y  
TEREZI W3LL DO 1T TH3 DUMB W4Y

TEREZI: OK4Y W3R3 LOOK1NG FOR 4 G14NT ST4D1UM 4PP4R3NTLY  
TEREZI: 3GB3RT S4YS W3 C4NT M1SS 1T

The two of them jump back into the sky and begin scouring the Earth as quickly as they can for a stadium. After awhile they find one that matches the description: it's humongous, with a bright picture above it. Probably the mayor, if her memory serves, but the wind up here makes it hard to tell. If Terezi had to guess, she might say it'd hold just under a million people, but Jade could have easily made it even bigger on the inside.

Branching out from it are four clearly defined kingdoms, with clearly defined borders. The easiest to identify is the troll kingdom: it smells like a model Alternia, if the designer had been given a description of Alternia without ever having seen it. The buildings aren't separated by blood color, as far as she can tell. Other than that, the architecture is hauntingly familiar, and the smell of sopor slime has climbed even this high.

The next easiest to identify is the carapacian kingdom. It sits catty-corner to the troll kingdom, and black and white mix in the way that reminds Terezi of Skaia. There are more than a few urban hubs, and the people seem content to mingle between black and white squares, as if the distinction were only aesthetic. Farther away from the stadium, the buildings become less concentrated, and even a few farms seem to sprawl on the horizon.

The other two kingdoms must be the human and consort kingdoms. The consort kingdom is practically technicolor. If she weren’t so far away, its sheer brightness might itself be blinding. Here near the square, it’s hard to tell any distinction between the colors, but they seem to separate towards the horizon. The last one must be the human kingdom, where June lives. Boring.

TEREZI: OK4Y 3GB3RT W3’R3 H3R3  
JUNE: okay i’ll be right there!  
TEREZI: NO YOU DONT N33D TO

TEREZI: OK4Y  
JUNE: hey guys!  
JUNE: how was lord english?  
VRISKA: I 8eat his 8ss, o8viously.  
JUNE: hell yeah.  
JUNE: terezi.  
JUNE: how’ve you been?  
TEREZI: >:]  
TEREZI: 1’V3 B33N 4LL R1GHT 3GB3RT  
JUNE: aww you missed me, didn’t you?  
TEREZI: 1 WOULD N3V3R 4DM1T TH4T 1N 4 COURT OF L4W  
TEREZI: 3V3N ON P41N OF B31NG F3D TO H1S HONOR4BL3 TYR4NNY  
JUNE: didn’t they feed everyone to his honorable tyranny anyway?  
TEREZI: 1RR3L3V4NT  
JUNE: okay, whatever.  
JUNE: my house is in the consort kingdom, so just uh.  
JUNE: follow me, I guess!

June coasts on her back with the wind in a clearly-practiced motion. Terezi sticks her tongue out at her, and June responds in kind. A stray gust knocks Terezi off course, and she has to fight with her jetpack to correct it.

TEREZI: C4N’T YOU CONTROL TH3 W1ND OR SOM3TH1NG 3GB3RT  
JUNE: i could be so persuaded, yes.  
TEREZI: OH NO  
TEREZI: W3 4R3 NOT DO1NG TH1S  
TEREZI: 1 4M YOUR GU3ST YOU 4R3 NOT M4K1NG M3 4SK FOR 4 SMOOTH R1D3 TO YOUR OWN HOUS3  
JUNE: well, you’re not my guest yet.  
JUNE: we’re not at my house yet, after all.  
JUNE: a smooth ride is extra.  
VRISKA: Do you two need to get a room?  
VRISKA: May8e I should go hang out with Kanaya instead.  
JUNE: yeah she’d be happy to see you!  
JUNE: she and rose have both missed you a lot.  
VRISKA: That was a joke, June.  
JUNE: oh.  
JUNE: i knew that!  
JUNE: anyway, here we are!

June’s house is, quite frankly, utterly unremarkable. It’s two stories tall and seems to have the exact same layout that Terezi remembers from before June entered the medium. Hung across the upstairs balcony is a birthday sign with June’s deadname crossed out and her real name written above it.

JUNE: don’t mind the sign, i just haven’t gotten around to pulling it down yet.  
TEREZI: WHY 1S  
VRISKA: So this is your house?

The three of them walk into the living room and make use of the twelve billion chairs scattered about. Most of them are folding chairs, with party hats or streamers strung over and around them. It takes some work to find a seating arrangement that's suitable for a legitimate conversation.

VRISKA: Seems kind of l8me for the hero of 8reath, to be honest.  
JUNE: hey!  
JUNE: i worked very hard to earn a perfectly average life.  
JUNE: i intend to live it to the best of my ability.  
TEREZI: P3RF3CTLY 4V3R4G3  
TEREZI: YOU KNOW TH4T L1T3R4LLY 3V3RYON3 ON TH1S PL4N3T LOOKS UP TO YOU 4S BOTH A CR34TOR, 4ND MOR3 SP3C1F1C4LLY 4S TH3 L34D3R OF TH3 CR34TORS??  
JUNE: i’m well aware, you don’t have to remind me.

June shudders to emphasize her point.

JUNE: i’d really rather just ignore that particular factoid.  
TEREZI: WH4T3V3R  
TEREZI: JUST DON’T COM3 CRY1NG TO M3 WH3N YOU M4K3 4 FL1PP4NT R3M4RK TH4T H4S 1MPL1C4T1ONS FOR TH3 POL1CY OF 4N 3NT1R3 PL4N3T  
JUNE: aren’t you here to ask for advice on what to do next?  
VRISKA: Yep, that would 8e it!  
TEREZI: OH Y34H W3 H4V3 FOUND OURS3LV3S 1N 4 R4TH3R R3GR3TT4BL3 S1TU4T1ON  
VRISKA: That 8eing that we don’t have any fucking money.  
VRISKA: Or a pl8ce to live.  
VRISKA: Or any plans for how to spend the next 8 8illion sweeps of our lives.  
JUNE: oh yikes, that’s a lot to put onto one girl you know!  
TEREZI: 4R3 YOU S4Y1NG YOU C4NT DO 1T  
JUNE: the jury will find i said no such thing.  
TEREZI: >:]  
JUNE: setting you up with a house and funds is pretty easy, actually.  
JUNE: where do you want to live?  
JUNE: the society we live in is really just play acting at capitalism, there’s not really any scarcity here.  
JUNE: so like, it really is just a matter of contacting the relevant kingdom and having them set you up with the particulars.  
VRISKA: That is a gr8 mystery, one which I didn’t know was a mystery, and which is in desper8 need of solving.  
TEREZI: OH Y34H  
TEREZI: 1S 1T W31RD TO S4Y 1 ST1LL DONT KNOW HOW TH4T WHOL3 K1NGDOM P4CT WORKS??  
JUNE: um, yeah?  
JUNE: didn’t you have a pretty big part in organizing it?  
TEREZI: OH NO NOT R34LLY  
TEREZI: TH4T W4S MOR3 OF D4V3 4ND K4RK4TS TH1NG  
TEREZI: TH3Y W3R3 4LW4YS CLOS3R TO TH3 M4YOR 4ND 1T W4S R34LLY R34LLY TH3 M4YORS TH1NG  
JUNE: really really?  
TEREZI: FUCK YOU  
VRISKA: I’m a little 8ehind on the times.  
VRISKA: Are y’all gonna catch me up, or should I just guess from 8etween your weird pitch 8anter?  
JUNE: oh yeah.  
JUNE: basically earth c is divided into four kingdoms by species.  
JUNE: trolls, humans, carapacians, and consorts live in kingdoms of their own.  
JUNE: the borders and differences in law are really mostly aesthetic, but each kingdom has its heroes.  
JUNE: roxy’s huge in the carapacian kingdom, for instance, since most of them are basically alive directly because of them.  
VRISKA: How so?  
JUNE: when they lived here five thousand years ago they always fed the carapacians pumpkins.  
JUNE: that’s why most of them didn’t die of starvation before making it here.  
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: Well, that’s certainly that, then.  
JUNE: yeah.  
JUNE: it has its flaws, namely that that kind of segregation has led to rampant nationalism in each of the kingdoms, which in turn has led to a powder-keg of a political situation in which any one kingdom could produce a mal-intentioned populist leader and hypermobilize their people into a war on what my earth’s political scientists may have called fascist terms, and which this earth’s original residents may have found eerily reminiscent of the condesce, but other than that it’s fine, right?  
TEREZI: TH4T SOUNDS SUP3R NOT F1N3 4CTU4LLY  
TEREZI: 4LSO 1V3 N3V3R KNOWN YOU TO B3 1NT3R3ST3D 1N POL1T1CS OF 4NY SORT  
TEREZI: OR 1N R4NT1NG 4BOUT TH1NGS OTH3R TH4N B3TTY CROCK3R  
JUNE: look, you talk to literally any of the strilondes for more than two seconds and try not picking up some politics.  
JUNE: i dare you.  
TEREZI: W41T HOW LONG H4S 3V34YON3 B33N H3R3??  
JUNE: maybe three weeks.  
JUNE: rose has been having visions of alternate timelines, though.  
JUNE: apparently, they don’t usually go well for us.  
JUNE: or so she says.  
VRISKA: Well damn.  
VRISKA: What's she say a8out this one then?  
JUNE: i.  
JUNE: well if i'm being honest, i've mostly tuned all that out.  
JUNE: is that wrong of me?  
TEREZI: FOR ONC3 3GB3RT 1 TH1NK YOU M1GHT H4V3 TH3 R1GHT 1D34  
TEREZI: BUT YOU ST1LL H4V3NT 4NSW3R3D TH3 MOST 1MPORT4NT QU3ST1ON OF 4LL JUNE: what was that again?  
TEREZI: WH4T TH3 FUCK DO W3 DO NOW TH4T W3R3 H3R3 FOR3V3R  
JUNE: uhhhhhh.  
JUNE: i sure don't fucking know.  
JUNE: i've mostly been chilling at home wondering about that very question to be honest.  
JUNE: there aren't many promising answers.  
VRISKA: That's 8ecause you're l8me.  
JUNE: what?  
VRISKA: You heard me.  
VRISKA: Laaaaaaaame.  
JUNE: uhhhh okay, so what's your bright idea?  
VRISKA: Well, you said this world is 8asically 8roken as it is, right?  
JUNE: yeah?  
VRISKA: So, why don't we help people realize it?  
JUNE: like with pamphlets and stuff?  
VRISKA: I was thinking a 8it more… exciting.  
VRISKA: ::::)  
JUNE: uhhhh what?  
VRISKA: ::::(  
VRISKA: Let's go 8r8k some laws noo8.  
JUNE: like what laws?  
VRISKA: I don't know, you're the legal expert here.  
VRISKA: Where do you think we could cause the most damage?  
TEREZI: OH L3TS K1LL SOM3BODY  
JUNE: we're not killing anybody.  
TEREZI: UGH 1 KN3W YOUD S4Y TH4T  
JUNE: well the carapacian kingdom seems to take its traffic laws pretty seriously.  
JUNE: maybe you could start there?  
VRISKA: It's a 8it of a full start, 8ut it is a start!  
VRISKA: Come on!

Terezi and Vriska stand back up, but June just looks up at them.

TEREZI: 4RENT YOU COM1NG 3GB3RT?  
JUNE: oh, um, no.  
JUNE: that's a bit fast paced for me.  
JUNE: but i wish you the best of luck!!!!!!!!  
VRISKA: ::::)  
VRISKA: Well, I guess we'll see you next time then.  
JUNE: i guess so.  
TEREZI: YOU GO ON 4H34D VR1SK4  
TEREZI: 1LL B3 R1GHT TH3R3

Vriska winks at Terezi, then coasts out the door. Terezi walks right up in front of June, close enough to break into her personal bubble. Certainly close enough to feel her body heat, and hopefully close enough to make her feel just a little uncomfortable.

TEREZI: DONT TH1NK 1 D1DNT NOT1C3 YOU J4BB1NG 4T M3  
JUNE: oh!  
JUNE: is that all right?  
JUNE: i didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything.  
TEREZI: JUST SHUT UP 4ND K1SS M3 4LR34DY

Terezi puts one hand on June's chair, just next to her head. She leans forward onto it. By luck or by design, June managed to pick a chair heavy enough to support her weight, so Terezi leans farther forward until she can taste June's breath in the air. It's minty, as if she had brushed her teeth not ten minutes ago. June leans forward the rest of the distance, and kisses Terezi on the lips. Terezi holds the kiss for a second, maybe two, maybe ten. Who can really tell with such things?

But eventually, she stands back up and stretches. She turns around and starts on her way out. She kicks over a folding chair on her way out, just for the effect.

TEREZI: L4T3R 3GB3RT  
JUNE: see you around, terezi.  
JUNE: <3<  
TEREZI: <3<

VRISKA: I see.  
TEREZI: H3Y DONT JUDG3  
VRISKA: No judgment here!  
VRISKA: I actually think you two would m8ke cute kismeses.  
TEREZI: Y34H??  
VRISKA: Yeah.

Terezi turns on her jetpack, and Vriska follows her into the atmosphere. Next destination: the carapacian kingdom.


	2. Chapter 2

Vriska and Terezi sit two tables away from each other at the cafe. Vriska has her hood up and headphones in. She keeps her head down and her eye focused on the road. God damn does she need to get reincarnated so she'll have her vision eightfold back. But she'll have to do without for now.

Terezi, on the other hand, is in her normal attire, iconic glasses and all. If anyone were to pay attention to either of them, it should be Terezi. That way Vriska can do what needs to be done in her shadow.

And if anyone asks where Vriska might be right now? Why Terezi is back, and in public without her? It was a long, hard battle with Lord English. Vriska is back, but too tired to face the public eye right now.

They picked a cafe with curbside parking on purpose. They need to see when someone pulls up, so as to rob them better. So far, they're the newest arrivals. But that will change, for sure. Vriska always gets lucky when it counts.

A car drives by, and Vriska watches it intently. It doesn't stop. A shame; that car looked like it'd be a lot of fun to drive.

A fan walks up to Terezi's table and asks for an autograph. Terezi signs off and makes a crude joke about the picture. Vriska looks back in time to see the fan blushing violet and clutching the picture to their chest.

A car pulls up to the curbside and the driver steps out. He's a black carapacian, wearing a solid white suit. The car matches the suit, and looks to be the height of luxury. The convertible roof is down, probably just to show off the immaculate leather seats. It's perfect.

Vriska focuses all of her energy onto the car. If she's lucky, this hapless fool will drop his keys into the cupholder and forget all about them. If she's really lucky, he'll spend a few minutes deciding what to order, giving her time to get away before he even notices. And she's always lucky.

The carapacian walks inside, and Vriska stands up out of her seat. He pays her no mind as he walks up to the counter. He doesn't even pay Terezi a glance, which will make the whole affair a whole lot easier. Vriska walks outside and jumps over the window into the driver's seat. The keys are sitting in the cupholder, just like she wanted. Vriska presses the button next to the steering wheel, and the engine roars to life. Hopefully, Vriska muses, driving this thing will be intuitive. It's not like she's ever had to drive anywhere before, but maybe she'll get lucky? No, that's too much of a stretch. Terezi plops into the seat next to her.

TEREZI: L3TS GO

Vriska pulls the gearshift down, too far apparently because the car lurches forward. She slams a foot on the brake and tries again. The light on the dashboard says "R" now, hopefully for reverse. Vriska eases her foot off the pedal, and the car eases backwards. Okay, this isn't so hard.

She lets go of the brake and tries the accelerator. The car lurches backwards, and it's all Vriska can do to turn the steering wheel enough to keep it off the opposite curb. Another driver screeches to a halt next to her and honks. The carapacian runs out of the building, drops his coffee, and begins signing furiously at the two of them.

VRISKA: Ok8y, let's try th8s.

Vriska shifts back onto whatever it was that made her go forward earlier, a "D," it looks like, and slams on the accelerator again. The tires spin against the asphalt, filling the air with smoke and a screech. And then, as if out of nowhere, the car jumps forward. 

Vriska keeps the accelerator pressed down as far as she can and runs the next red light. Breaking the law was the point, after all. A siren starts behind her, and Vriska puts all of her luck into losing him. Beside her, Terezi is cackling like a garbage disposal newly introduced to its family's silverware. Vriska turns right and nearly slams into the driver's side door. She takes a left and hears Terezi do the same.

The engine shifts up, and its pitch drops an octave. Thank god scales were written in 8s. In another life, she may have been quite satisfied as a musician. Oh who is she kidding, nothing is as satisfying as taking the next corner at 200 miles an hour without the car so much as trying to get onto two wheels. It was clearly meant for exactly this purpose.

At the end of this street, Vriska sees a construction site, complete with a very convenient ramp. At least, hopefully that pile of dirt will stay in tact enough to be a ramp in about ten seconds.

VRISKA: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?  
TEREZI: DO 1T  
VRISKA: Done.

Vriska keeps on the accelerator and runs three red lights in a row. Were it not for the cacophony of sirens behind her, she's sure she would have hit somebody by now. There are at least ten cops behind her, but not for long.

Vriska manages to knock three safety cones over in the entrance to the construction site. There aren't any workers here today; it must be some sort of holiday for them. Another lucky break. Vriska is full of those these days.

The base of the pile of dirt hits almost, but not quite, like a brick wall. The front of the car flies upwards; it only hits the ground when the back tires find the ramp too. After that, the car only lasts on the pile for another half a second, and then it's airborne.

From the air, Vriska can see that the construction site is one of many on the carapacian-consort border. They apparently have gotten very concerned about their neighbors recently, and have decided to show that by cutting off all migration between the kingdoms. She will have a lot of work to do, that's for sure.

And then the car lands, in a field across the border. The plants all around her are technicolor, and the windshield becomes opaque in a matter of seconds. Row after row of carefully lined agriculture bows before them, or at least before the car currently running it over. Vriska slams on the brakes, and the car skids to a stop well out of view of the carapacian kingdom. She looks over to Terezi, who is looking intently behind her.

VRISKA: Don't worry, there's no way they follow us here, right?

Terezi just points in response. Vriska follows her finger, not behind the car but into the backseat, where a black carapacian toddler is sitting looking back and forth between Vriska and Terezi. Tears start to well up in her eyes, a classic portent of a meltdown to anyone who couldn't have predicted it from other circumstances.

VRISKA: Oh, no no no no no no no no, there's no need to cry.  
TEREZI: DONT WORRY YOUR3 S4F3 W1TH US

The toddler starts to cry.


	3. Chapter 3

TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU 3V3N DO W1TH 4 B4BY  
VRISKA: How should I kn8w????????  
VRISKA: 8t’s not like I’ve ever t8ken care of one!  
TEREZI: W3R3NT YOU 4 B4BY 4T ON3 PO1NT??  
VRISKA: You were too!  
TEREZI: TH4T DO3SNT M34N 1 KNOW HOW TO T4K3 C4R3 OF ON3  
VRISKA: Neither do I!

The toddler in the backseat is crying even louder now, and every second they stay here means another second they risk being caught in a stolen car with a kidnapped child. They need to get out, and fast.

VRISKA: Why don’t you like crawl in the 8ack with it or something?  
VRISKA: I’ll drive us somewhere we can get settled.  
TEREZI: W1TH 4LL TH4T SH1T ON TH3 W1NDSH13LD  
VRISKA: It can’t possi8ly m8ke my driving worse, can it?  
TEREZI: F41R 3NOUGH

Terezi unbuckles and climbs over the seat into the back. She leaves dusty footprints all over the leather and the dashboard, but that’s hardly the worst of their problems at the moment. She buckles in in the back as the toddler next to her looks on in horror.

TEREZI: H3Y  
TEREZI: WH4TS YOUR N4M3

The toddler presses herself against the wall of the car. She looks over the side, as if she’s considering jumping out, then looks back at Terezi.

VRISKA: Hey, you know what just occurred to me?  
TEREZI: WH4TS TH4T  
VRISKA: 8ack on the meteor, when the mayor was still alive.  
TEREZI: Y34H  
VRISKA: Did you ever hear him talk?  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS NOT NO  
TEREZI: WHY TH3 SUDD3N 1NT3R3ST 1N TH3  
TEREZI: OH NO  
VRISKA: Do you think may8e that wasn’t a coincidence?  
TEREZI: GOD D4MN 1T  
TEREZI: 1 C4NT S1GN  
VRISKA: Neither can I!  
TEREZI: W3LL WH4T DO YOU SUGG3ST W3 DO TH3N??  
VRISKA: I don’t know!  
VRISKA: May8e call up Dave or Karkat?  
VRISKA: They had that thing going on, may8e they picked it up.  
TEREZI: WOULDNT TH3 L4NGU4G3 H4V3 CH4NG3D 1N TH3 L4ST F1V3 THOUS4ND Y34RS  
VRISKA: I’m not hearing any 8etter ide8s!!!!!!!!  
TEREZI: F1N3 1LL T3XT D4V3 OR WH4T3V3R  
TEREZI: JUST G3T US TO 4 HOT3L OR SOM3TH1NG  
TEREZI: 1M PR3TTY SUR3 CONSORT JUST1C3 1NCLUD3S BO1L1NG P3OPL3 4L1V3

TEREZI: D4V3  
DAVE: whats up  
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 4 SM4LL PROBL3M  
DAVE: can it wait?  
DAVE: theres some shit on the news you wouldnt believe  
DAVE: you think youve got problems then bam  
DAVE: someone comes along with even bigger problems  
DAVE: makes you wonder if you ever really had problems all along  
DAVE: or if you were just making them up to seem cool  
DAVE: but damn no this motherfuckers kid just got kidnapped  
DAVE: like holy shit  
DAVE: okay yeah ill eat another hot pocket damn  
DAVE: just dont kidnap my kid or whatever  
TEREZI: D4V3 DO YOU 3V3R SHUT UP  
DAVE: not typically no  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 M4YB3 1 W4S B31NG 4 B1T L3N31NT WH3N 1 S41D 1 H4D 4 SM4LL PROBL3M  
DAVE: oh hold on a second  
DAVE: theyre sending a helicopter  
DAVE: apparently the dumbass kidnappers thought they would just gta their way out of it  
DAVE: like damn how dumb can you be  
DAVE: half the people on this planet can fly of course someone can see you  
DAVE: dont even have any class  
TEREZI: D4V3 FOR TH3 LOV3 OF GOD  
DAVE: oh yeah  
DAVE: fine whats your problem  
TEREZI: W1THOUT 4DM1TT1NG GU1LT 1N C4S3 TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON 1S 4DM1TT3D TO 3V1D3NC3 L4T3R  
TEREZI: 1 M4Y H4V3 FOUND MYS3LF 1N 4N 1NC1D3NT 1NVOLV1NG 4 STOL3N C4R 4ND SOM3ON3 3LS3S CH1LD  
DAVE: you’re shitting me  
TEREZI: WOULD 1 JOK3 4BOUT TH1S  
DAVE: yes this is exactly the kind of thing you love to joke about  
TEREZI: GOD D4MN MY 1MP3CC4BL3 S3NS3 OF HUMOR  
TEREZI: 1 N33D YOUR FUCK1NG H3LP D4V3  
DAVE: wow ok so youre in trouble trouble then  
DAVE: dont think ive ever heard those words out of your mouth  
DAVE: or like  
DAVE: read them in your typing quirk i guess  
DAVE: however the fuck im supposed to interpret that  
TEREZI: HOW MUCH C4R4P4C14N S1GN L4NGU4G3 DO YOU KNOW  
DAVE: im passable at it  
DAVE: oh hold on again theyve got a camera on the getaway car now

Sure enough, Terezi hears the helicopter getting closer to them. It’s keeping pace easily, despite Vriska’s best efforts to keep the car moving at top speed. Vriska has long since abandoned any notion of sitting properly in her seat, instead using floating just high enough to stick her head around the side of the windshield. Terezi takes a moment to check her own seatbelt; Vriska will come back if they run full speed into a rock, but Terezi doesn’t have that luxury. Terezi takes another moment to check that the car seat next to her is fastened as well; she doesn’t know how well carapacians take to wrongful death via kidnapping, but she imagines the answer is somewhere just beyond “not well.” The toddler has not broken eye contact with Terezi in two full minutes now.

DAVE: theyre in the middle of a consort wheat field haha can you imagine  
DAVE: driving next to the road too like just move to your right a bit  
DAVE: not that i think they can see through the windshield at this point  


TEREZI: RO4D 1S TO TH3 R1GHT  
VRISKA: Gotcha!

TEREZI: DO YOU TH1NK YOU COULD H3LP M3 T4LK TO 4 C4R4P4C14N TODDL3R  
DAVE: like a hypothetically kidnapped one  
TEREZI: C4N YOU DO 1T OR NOT  
DAVE: yeah come on over here  
DAVE: karkat and i are chillin in the troll kingdom  
DAVE: just ask for directions when you get there  
DAVE: not to brag or anything but were kind of a big deal  
DAVE: also maybe dont bring the paparazzi  
DAVE: thats a lot of bad press  
TEREZI: YOUR3 4 L1F3S4V3R  
DAVE: like the candy?

TEREZI: 4LL R1GHT W3R3 GO1NG TO TH3 TROLL K1NGDOM  
VRISKA: Right now?  
TEREZI: 4S SOON 4S POSS1BL3  
TEREZI: D4V3S GONN4 TR4NSL4T3 FOR US

Vriska does a hard u-turn, throwing Terezi into the side of the car. The wheels screech, and the air is filled with the smell of burnt rubber. The helicopter above them has far less of a problem turning around, and keeps a close tail.

Now that they’re on the road, Terezi realizes just how rural the area they’ve landed in is. It’s almost as if the wall represented more than just a physical barrier between carapacian and consort society. Instead of the cosmopolitan area they were just in, the terrain is now just open road and farms. The shadows of some of the taller buildings from the city line up to dead patches in the fields, where the local farmers have built houses and barns in lieu of whatever would normally grow there.

A siren calls out behind them, and Terezi tastes the bright flashing lights from miles away. They’ve already drawn more attention to themselves than they would have liked, and not in a good way. Their exploits will thus far earn them little more than jail time and a bad reputation for the rest of time.

TEREZI: H3Y K1D  
TEREZI: W4NN4 S33 SOM3TH1NG N4UGHTY

The toddler looks Terezi up and down, then slowly nods. Terezi smiles a toothy smile, then signals to Vriska.

TEREZI: H3Y 1M GO1NG TO DO SOM3TH1NG DUMB  
TEREZI: DONT G3T M3 K1LL3D  
VRISKA: Don't push your luck too far, okay?  
TEREZI: >:]

Terezi makes a weird movement with her hands, and her cane-sword appears in the empty space beside her. She grabs it and unbuckles her seatbelt. Then she jabs the business end of the sword into the trunk behind her. She climbs up onto the back of the car. The wind here billows in all directions at once, and any hope she had of maintaining control over her hair is long gone. She pulls another sword out of thin air and jabs it in front of her.

She pulls herself another step toward the back of the car, then kneels down when she feels the edge of the trunk fall away from her. She pulls the cane out from behind her and braces herself against the one still in the trunk. Then she jams the free sword downward and back towards the car. She aims just slightly towards the passenger side to begin with; it's easier to aim off from the get-go than to try to guess which side you're on later. 

With that, she pushes the sword away from her, to the driver's side. The metal of her sword grinds against the metal of the car. Her sword threatens to break at any moment, or to fly out of her hand if not break. But she holds on tight and trusts that she has the best that literally all the money in the world can buy and pushes on. She hits the middle of the trunk, and the resistance triples, quadruples. She lets go of her brace to use both arms to push the sword all the way through the lock.

Then the sword slips forward, and she nearly falls with it. It clatters to the ground and in an instant is gone forever. Oh well. It's not like she can't make more.

Terezi pulls herself up onto the remaining cane and sits for a second. The police truck is coming closer, even though she knows Vriska is going as fast as possible. Those trucks must have some kind of unfair advantage to keep up with a car this expensive. The wind keeps whipping Terezi's hair into her face, but for now, she doesn't mind. Then she stands back up again.

At this speed, the wind threatens to do more than just blow her hair around, but she stays steady. She walks back up towards the back seat of the car and drops down into it. The trunk, free from its obligation to stay locked closed, bounces open. It gets pushed back nearly immediately, then wavers until it finds a half-open equilibrium. Terezi swings herself around the side and pushes the trunk all the way open.

The inside is relatively empty, consisting of just a toolbag and an emergency kit resting on top of a wooden base. If she remembers correctly, the spare tire should be just under that wooden base. She throws the emergency kit up front; it may have something useful. The toolbag isn't quite so lucky. Terezi takes aim, then chucks it at the truck's passenger seat.

The truck swerves around it, then regains speed and threatens to overtake them. Terezi grabs the wooden base and pulls it out. She doesn't even have to throw it; instead she just lets it go, and it flies backward as intended. It doesn't quite hit the windshield as she had hoped, though, instead just making a nasty sound against the truck's grill.

Underneath is the prize: a big spare tire that will, if all goes to plan, shatter this truck’s windshield and give them enough time to escape. She unscrews the one giant screw that holds it in and chucks it at the truck. It makes a loud bang and leaves a nasty chip in the windshield, but there’s not much else by way of damage. 

Terezi crawls into the trunk and sits next to the tire. She braces herself against the side of the trunk with one hand, and with the other, she lifts the tire out of its well. The truck behind her wavers but decides to keep pace. Maybe they’re onto her. It doesn’t matter, of course. She lifts the tire up and in front of her so that it’s pointed directly at the truck’s passenger seat. To keep it in the air, she has to hold on with both hands, and the roof of the trunk bounces idly against the tire.

With one push, the tire flies back at the truck. Just as it’s leaving her hands, Terezi spins the tire towards herself, to keep its flight stable. A moment later, she hears the sound of shattering glass, followed by the hollow ring of metal being dented, followed by the screeching of tires rapidly coming to a stop in front of her. That’s one tail down. The car swerves, and the road turns blue underneath it.

TEREZI: WH4T 4R3 YOU DO1NG  
VRISKA: Don’t those salamander guys live in caves?  
TEREZI: OH Y34H  
TEREZI: HOW 4R3 W3 GONN4 G3T R1D OF OUR FLY1NG FR13ND THOUGH  
VRISKA: How comforta8le are you t8king the wheel?  
TEREZI: NOT V3RY  
VRISKA: Gr8!  
VRISKA: You’ll do fine, get up here.  
TEREZI: DON’T YOU D4R3 G3T US FUCK1NG K1LL3D  
VRISKA: Wouldn’t dream of 8t 8a8e!  


Terezi whips her head around. Well, that’ll be a conversation, for sure, just maybe not right now.

TEREZI: 4LL R1GHT 1M COM1NG UP

Terezi climbs back out of the trunk and pulls herself up with her cane. She drops into the backseat and captchalogues her cane. She looks to the toddler and gives a thumbs up.

TEREZI: HOW W4S TH4T??

The toddler returns her thumbs up.

TEREZI: COOL

Terezi steps up onto the center console, then plops down into the passenger seat.

TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU N33D FROM M3  
VRISKA: Just steer us around any major o8stacles, people, etc for a second.  
TEREZI: YOU KNOW 1M BL1ND R1GHT  
VRISKA: You’ll do fine, don’t worry!  
VRISKA: I’m using up a fuckton of luck to keep us in the clear right now, so all you have to do is not fuck it up.

Vriska pulls her hands off the wheel, and Terezi grabs it. The car swerves to the right, then back to the left as Terezi corrects. The right side of the car bounces off of one rock, then another. She pushes the wheel away from her, and the car moves back onto the road. Meanwhile, Vriska puts her hands up to her temples, and Terezi realizes what she’s doing.

TEREZI: YOUR3 NOT GO1NG TO K1LL TH3M 4R3 YOU??  
VRISKA: Without a lengthy de8ate as to whether it’s just?  
VRISKA: I wouldn’t dare.  
VRISKA: ::::)  
VRISKA: No, I’m just putting the news crew to sleep so they can’t report on us.  
VRISKA: The helicopter won’t 8e a8le to track us into the c8ve anyway.  
TEREZI: >:]  
TEREZI: OK4Y HURRY UP SO 1 C4N L3T GO

Vriska puts her fingers back on her temples and looks straight at the helicopter. For a second, the air goes still. Then Vriska smiles and taps Terezi on the back of her hand.

VRISKA: Okay.

Terezi lets go, and Vriska takes the wheel back. For a second, it looks like nothing’s happened, but then the helicopter turns around, and then they’re alone again. Vriska makes a couple of turns, seemingly arbitrarily, but she stays in what seems to be salamander territory. Then, finally, mercifully, Vriska spots a cave on the horizon. She parks the car on the side of the road.

VRISKA: No need to keep this thing; it’ll just attract attention.

Terezi climbs back into the backseat and offers a hand to the toddler. She hesitates, then takes it.

TEREZI: S33 W3R3 NOT 4LL TH4T B4D  
TEREZI: L3T M3 G3T YOU UNBUCKL3D  
TEREZI: W3R3 NOT T4K1NG TH1S C4R 4NYMOR3

The toddler nods and raises her arms. She’s buckled into the seat with three straps that meet at her midsection. Terezi presses the button where they meet, and they all fall away. She picks the toddler up and holds her against her chest.

TEREZI: HOLD ON T1GHT OK4Y  
TEREZI: W3R3 4BOUT TO B3 MOV1NG PR3TTY QU1CKLY

The toddler wraps her arms around Terezi’s neck.

TEREZI: H3Y VR1S W1LL YOU GR4B TH3 3M3RG3NCY P4CK  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK TH4TLL H4V3 TO B3 D1NN3R TON1GHT  
VRISKA: Done, let’s go.

Terezi presses a button on her jetpack, and she shoots forward. Vriska catches up with her in a fraction of a second. The toddler looks at Terezi, then looks at the car, then back at Terezi. And then she starts to cry again. She reaches out towards the car, and Terezi pushes her arm back where it was.

TEREZI: PL34S3 DONT L3T GO OF M3  
TEREZI: WH4TS WRONG  
TEREZI: D1D YOU L34V3 SOM3TH1NG??

The toddler just keeps crying in Terezi’s ear.

TEREZI: FUCK  
TEREZI: H3Y VR1SK4 1M GONN4 TURN 4ROUND R34L QU1CK  
TEREZI: YOU GO SCOUT OUT TH3 C4V3 Y34H??  
VRISKA: Sounds good, 8ut 8e fast.

Terezi whips around and makes a beeline for the car. She lands so quickly that she almost falls, but she manages to catch herself at the last moment. The toddler reaches back out to the car again. Terezi walks up to it so that the toddler can see what’s inside. Instead of grabbing at anything in the car, though, the toddler just points at the car itself.

TEREZI: WE C4NT T4K3 TH3 WHOL3 C4R  
TEREZI: 1TS TOO B1G

The toddler points again.

TEREZI: UGH F1N3  
TEREZI: L3T M3 S33 1F 1V3 ST1LL GOT TH4T W4LL3T

Terezi rifles through her sylladex to see if the wallet is still in there, before realizing that she’s got it equipped as her sylladex. Well, here goes nothing. She points to the spot in the wallet it should go, then makes a click and drag motion from the car to that spot. Then the car disappears, replaced by a digitized version of itself in her sylladex.

TEREZI: 4R3 W3 GOOD NOW??

The toddler wraps her arms back around Terezi’s neck. Terezi turns around to the cave, and turns on her jetpack again. It’s going to be a long couple of days, isn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure that some carapacians can speak, CT (the toddler) included, but so many of them can't that vocalized language isn't part of carapacian culture. CT is the daughter of a dignitary, though, so she's been exposed to a little. All the other plot devices are, of course, just plot devices.
> 
> Yes, gta really does stand for Grand Theft Auto on That One Line. I am also disappointed.
> 
> Also, Vriska flirting while (and by) putting the object of her affection into life-threatening situations? It's more likely than you might think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case I forgot to mention it in the last chapter's notes, Carapacian Toddler is now CT.

When Terezi gets to the cave, Vriska already has a little fire going. A plume of smoke floats up out of the mouth of the cave, and Terezi prays that no one is around to see it.

TEREZI: WONT TH4T G1V3 4W4Y WH3R3 W3R3 H1D1NG?  
VRISKA: You know, I honestly hadn't thought a8out it.  
VRISKA: Let's see if we need to cook anything and tamp it out then.  
TEREZI: SOUNDS GOOD  
VRISKA: What'd the kid want?  


Terezi sets CT on the ground, who immediately begins to run around and make signs and noises that Terezi has no hope of deciphering yet.

TEREZI: SH3 W4NT3D M3 TO BR1NG TH3 C4R  
VRISKA: Did you?  
TEREZI: Y34H 1T'S 1N MY W4LL3T  
VRISKA: Huh.  
VRISKA: We'll have to keep it hidden, of course.  
TEREZI: 1 DONT PL4N ON T4K1NG 1T OUT R34LLY  
TEREZI: PROB4BLY JUST HOLD ONTO 1T UNT1L SH3 FORG3TS 4BOUT 1T

At that moment, CT walks up to Terezi and grabs the bottom of her shirt. She pulls on it and points where she wants her to go. Terezi follows her to the other side of the cave, where CT has apparently drawn a giant rectangle, of approximately the same size as the car. She points insistently at the box.

TEREZI: WH4T DO YOU W4NT??

CT makes a steering motion with her hands.

TEREZI: OH TH3 C4R  
TEREZI: W3LL TH3 TH1NG 1S

CT stamps her foot on the ground.

TEREZI: GOD OK4Y  
TEREZI: H3R3 Y34H 1 ST1LL H4V3 1T  
TEREZI: GO W1LD

Terezi pulls the car out of her wallet and places it over the rectangle. Looking at it now, the rectangle perfectly surrounds the car. CT climbs up into it and starts playing in the seats.

VRISKA: Doesn't look like she's gonna 8e forgetting any time soon.  
TEREZI: NO 1 GU3SS NOT  
VRISKA: What's in that emergency pack you na88ed?  
TEREZI: OH Y34H  
TEREZI: 1 K1ND4 FORGOT 4BOUT 1T

Terezi pulls the pack out of her sylladex and dumps it unceremoniously on the floor. Inside are two blankets, a candle, two protein bars, lighter fluid, a log that advertises itself as burning for four hours (guaranteed), and a handful of matches. Hardly well-stocked for the current predicament, but Terezi supposes it'll do for the time being.

TEREZI: 1 GU3SS TH3 PROT31N B4RS GO TO TH3 K1D HUH  
VRISKA: Until we can find a 8etter source of food, y8h.  
VRISKA: ::::/  
TEREZI: W3LL 1V3 GON3 LONG3R ON L3SS  


Vriska shoots Terezi a concerned look, but Terezi is too occupied by pulling out her box of chalk from her sylladex. She takes time to sniff each (remaining) color thoughtfully: the absurd sweetness of the red, the saltiness of the green. The purple tastes of seaweed, and there's one blue left. A deep cerulean that matches Vriska's eyes. Terezi pulls it out and takes a bite. It's rich and smooth, and goes down like silk.

TEREZI: SO  
TEREZI: "B4B3"??  
VRISKA: Yeah?  
TEREZI: NO L1K3  
TEREZI: WHY D1D YOU C4LL M3 B4B3??  
VRISKA: Oh.  
VRISKA: I don't know.  
VRISKA: Cause you're a 8a8e?  
VRISKA: Don't read too much into it.  
TEREZI: OH  
TEREZI: OK4Y

Well, that's that then. Hardly the reason she had hoped for, but maybe she just misunderstood. Clearly she just misunderstood. She kind of wishes that she had godtiered, so that she would have access to the full suite of her powers. Instead, she's stuck with all of these meaningless visions of "canon" and "not-canon" decisions, all of which are rendered meaningless by the fact that objectively there is no canon anymore. A tangled web of realities, competing for attention as decisions compound and fracture off of each other. Terezi takes another bite of chalk.

TEREZI: WH3N 4R3 YOU PL4NN1NG ON L34V1NG FOR K4RK4TS  
VRISKA: Pro8a8ly just after dusk, when we won't have so much 8ttention on ourselves.  
TEREZI: PROV1D3D TH3Y DONT SCOP3 OUT TH3 C4V3 BY TH3N  
VRISKA: Well, I don’t see them coordin8ing a proper investig8tion any time soon, do you?  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS NOT  
VRISKA: We’ll 8e gone 8efore they even know to look for us.  
VRISKA: ::::)

CT walks up to Terezi and makes a sign that Terezi can’t quite understand. Terezi cocks her head, and CT stamps her foot. But, determined to get her point across, she rubs her tummy instead.

TEREZI: OH

Terezi hands CT one of the protein bars.

TEREZI: TH4TS 4LL W3V3 GOT 4ND W3 ONLY H4V3 TH3 TWO

In any case, CT looks delighted. She tears into the wrapper and devours the protein bar, then holds out the wrapper for someone to grab. Vriska pulls a giant tub out of nowhere and sets it on the ground. She opens the lid and pats it. CT puts the wrapper into the tub and runs back over to the car, where she resumes using it as the world’s worst jungle gym.

TEREZI: WHY DO YOU C4RRY 4 TUB W1TH YOU  
VRISKA: It was supposed to carry all the spoils from my 8attle with Lord English.  
VRISKA: Since I didn’t actually g8 any spoils, though, I figure 8t’s good enough as a su8stitute until we find an inciner8or.  
TEREZI: M4K3S S3NS3

Terezi sits down next to the wall and leans her head against it. Vriska sits down next to her and looks over.

VRISKA: The sky is really pretty from here.  
TEREZI: Y34H??  
VRISKA: Yeah.  
TEREZI: D3SCR1B3 1T FOR M3  
VRISKA: What?  
TEREZI: YOU H34RD M3  
TEREZI: 1 W4NN4 KNOW HOW YOU S33 1T  
VRISKA: Okay.  
VRISKA: It’s um.  
VRISKA: Well, it’s 8right 8lue right now.  
VRISKA: A couple of clouds are just kind of floating there; may8e it’ll rain tomorrow.  
VRISKA: 8ut today they’re just sitting and waiting.  
VRISKA: And underneath, the fields are red and 8lue and yellow and purple.  
VRISKA: Towards the horizon, they all kind of mix together into a glowing white.  
VRISKA: 8ut the real kicker is how it’s all fr8med.  
VRISKA: All of it comes together, with the mouth of the cave, and with...  
VRISKA: Well, it’s shaped like the top half of an octagon.  
TEREZI: YOU DORK  
VRISKA: Wh8t?  
VRISKA: I can’t like octagons?  
TEREZI: YOU C4N L1K3 OCT4GONS 4S MUCH 4S YOU W4NT

Still, Terezi notes that from where she’s sitting, she’s partially blocking Vriska’s view.

VRISKA: Why the sudden interest in looks?  
VRISKA: You've never seemed curi8s 8efore.  
TEREZI: JUST  
TEREZI: M4YB3 1 W4NT 4 L1TTL3 SOM3TH1NG D1FF3R3NT  
VRISKA: Fair enough.

Terezi takes another bite of chalk and looks over to CT. She found the blankets and somehow something to hoist them with, and is now playing as the captain of her very own pirate ship. Terezi can’t help but smile at the memories that brings back.

VRISKA: Hey Terezi?  
TEREZI: Y34H  
VRISKA: You’re the 8est moirail a girl could ask for.  
TEREZI: 4WW TH4NKS  
VRISKA: <>  
TEREZI: <>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mutual pining! They'd fess up to their feelings I'm sure, but they accidentally used up the last of their emotional maturity in the last fic :/
> 
> So instead they've gotta just, you know, hint to each other in incredibly obtuse ways until one of them realizes what the other is doing.


	5. Chapter 5

VRISKA: All right, you ready?  
TEREZI: WH3N3V3R YOU 4R3  
VRISKA: Let’s go.

Vriska is carrying CT this time, like the result of her playing with CT in the car-turned-pirate-ship for the last few hours. In an uncharacteristic display of good sportsmanship, she had even allowed CT to be the captain, herself taking on the less favorable but still important roll of first mate. Terezi had honestly enjoyed listening to them play. Even now, it reminds her of much more complicated times, when they concerned themselves with the lives of hundreds of people, often at once. By comparison, taking care of one child does seem easier. Although, admittedly, it has been much more difficult to take care of that child than it ever was to feed all those other kids to a hungry spider.

The sky is now a dark blue, with the very last hints of light from the sun fighting for recognition on an increasingly thin band of the horizon. The moon has taken their place now; it’s nearly full, and they’ll almost certainly be spotted flying tonight. But the other creators are known to keep strange schedules, so hopefully they’ll be ignored. Terezi flips open her phone and texts Dave.

TEREZI: WERE ON OUR W4Y  
DAVE: cool beans  
DAVE: just let yourselves in when you get here  
DAVE: karkats takin a nap  
TEREZI: W1LL DO

Terezi flips open the wings on her jetpack and flies off. The sound reverberates through the cave, almost like an earthquake. Vriska pulls up next to her with CT in her arms. The air has grown crisp tonight, a sure sign that winter is coming. It doesn’t bother, Terezi though. In fact, she rather likes the distraction.

CT twists sideways and frees up one arm, then makes a motion towards Vriska.

VRISKA: Oh yeah, I used to play as a pir8e all the time!  
VRISKA: It was pr8a8ly my f8vorite thing to do when I was your age.

CT makes another motion.

VRISKA: I don’t remember that one.

CT pauses for a moment, then pantomimes a wave.

VRISKA: Like water?

CT nods her head, then points to her eye.

VRISKA: See water?

CT nods again, then points at Vriska.

VRISKA: Have I seen water?

CT nods.

VRISKA: Oh yeah!  
VRISKA: I lived fairly close to the ocean as a kid.  
VRISKA: I walked to the 8each 8 days a week.  
VRISKA: :::;)

Terezi hears carapace hit carapace when CT smacks her cheek and makes a shocked expression.

TEREZI: WH3N D1D YOU L34RN S1GN L4NGU4G3  
VRISKA: CT has 8een teaching me a little.  
VRISKA: 8t’s hard to play pir8e if you don’t know who’s who.  
TEREZI: W3LL SH1T  
VRISKA: Of course, I don’t think she’s using actual Carapacian Sign Language for a lot of it.  
VRISKA: I think she’s making up signs that I can understand 8etter, if that makes sense?  
TEREZI: Y34H SH3S 4 PR3TTY SM4RT K1D

CT blows a raspberry at Terezi.

TEREZI: WOULD YOU PR3F3R 1 1NSULT YOU 1NST34D??

CT just glares.

VRISKA: I don’t think “don’t patronize me” is something she can communicate through overly-simplified-sign-for-people-who-don’t-know-sign-language.

Terezi makes an over-theatrical gasp and puts one hand to her heart.

TEREZI: TH3 D3F3ND4NT PL34DS NOT GU1LTY YOUR HONOR  
VRISKA: Since when has that 8een an option?  
TEREZI: 1TS 4N 34RTH TH1NG  
TEREZI: 1 L1K3 1T 4 LOT MOR3 TH4N “YOUR HONOR4BL3 TYRANNY, D34TH”  
VRISKA: Yeah, I guess our legal system was pretty fucked up, in retrospect.

Terezi reaches for her chalk, then decides against it. It’d be pretty embarrassing to drop it all on top of some poor consort, then try to pick it all back up again or worse, to have to buy more. The blue underneath them gives way to lighter colors for a moment, though Terezi can’t tell what they are without the contrast given by sunlight. There are a few lights on in windows, and Terezi imagines the lives of these consorts, with their obsessions with the nuclear family and their proclivity towards corporate life.

Terezi wonders if it’s the same so close to the border, or if somehow, someone ought to really take a deep dive into the subject of consort sociology near their borders with other species. I mean, really, this planet is humongous, surely there are regional variations in culture, right?

In any case, the border with the troll kingdom is approaching quickly. There’s a marked difference there, between the technicolor architecture of the consort kingdom and the dark grays and piecemeal suburbs of the troll kingdom. The difference is less noticeable now, though, and the only notable difference at night is the number of windows that are lit up. Troll society is still far more atomized than any of the consort cultures ever was, so a city of 100,000 needs 100,000 houses (or at the least, apartments).

TEREZI: WH3R3 DO YOU W4NT TO L4ND  
VRISKA: Is that a mall down there?  
TEREZI: 1 C4NT T3LL FROM H3R3  
VRISKA: Let’s try it, then.  
VRISKA: May8e someone there will know who we’re talking about.

The two of them coast down in the parking lot, where there are the most cars. They drop right in the middle of four, then throw up their hoods to hide their faces. CT points at another kid across the aisle. The rest of their family hasn’t seen them, but the kid definitely did, and is about to make a scene. Vriska pulls CT to the aisle on the other side, and Terezi follows them. They hear the other kid yell something, then get shushed by their parents. For now, no one is the wiser.

They walk up to the mall, not unlike two teenagers who happen to be particularly bad babysitters for the kid currently walking on her own in the middle of a parking lot. And yet, they make it to the mall without incident. They walk inside and are struck by just how much it resembles the malls on Alternia. Various troll teenagers mill about with a smaller mix of adults and young children, all of whom go into stores that are mostly manned by drones or other automata. A few specialty stores are run by genuine, living trolls, but they are by far the exception. Vriska walks up to a Mysterious Stranger, a teenage troll who has ram horns on their head.

VRISKA: Hey kid.  
VRISKA: You know where Dave and Karkat live?  
MS: whaats it to yaa  
VRISKA: What does it matter?  
VRISKA: I’m a fan.  
MS: information costs money you know  
VRISKA: Oh, you little punk.  
VRISKA: If you knew who I was.  
MS: if you waanted me to know who you were you wouldn’t haave come up to me with your face and horns covered  
MS: so  
MS: money  
VRISKA: I’m low on cash, what else will you t8ke?  
MS: priceless aartifaacts more information whaat haave you  
VRISKA: I’ve got a shard of sp8cetime.  
MS: how’d you come aacross it  
VRISKA: Not important.  
MS: fair point  
MS: sure thaat’s fine  
MS: you first

Vriska pulls out a genuine, bonafide shard of spacetime from her fight with Lord English. It still has her cerulean blood on it, but neither of them seems to care. MS takes it and looks it over.

MS: this is from the old universe isn’t it  
VRISKA: Does it m8tter?  
MS: no but you reaally should haave gotten more for it  
MS: i’ll let you haave some information for free  
MS: this is worth aa lot of money  
VRISKA: Yeah, yeah, wh8tever.  
VRISKA: Just give me the address, and we’ll 8e on our way.

MS writes down an address and directions to get there on a notecard, then slides it over to Vriska. Vriska takes it and turns around. She grabs CT by the wrist.

MS: oh aand v

Vriska cocks her head to show she’s listening.

MS: better hide your quirk next time you aare pretty famous aaround here

Vriska practically drags CT on the way out. Terezi turns around when she passes, and they leave the way they came.

VRISKA: We’re m8de.  
TEREZI: TH4TS 4LL R1GHT W3 DONT N33D TO B3 H3R3 LONG  
VRISKA: L8t’s just go.

They take off, but not before Terezi hears Vriska mutter one last thing under her breath.

VRISKA: (Of course the first jackass I meet recognizes me on sight.)  
VRISKA: (Just my luck.)

Dave and Karkat’s house is only a thirty-minute flight away, by Terezi’s estimation. To be quite frank, she doesn’t really pay that much attention to the time slipping by. She has hardly gotten a quiet moment since she entered the Medium, what was it a sweep ago? She’s learned by now to take the quiet moments when she can.

They land and let themselves in the back door. The sounds of the television echo through the house. Dave is unfortunately nowhere to be found, so they follow the sound of the television to the living room. Karkat is asleep on the couch, and Dave is sitting cross-legged in a chair across from him eating a bowl of cereal.

DAVE: sup  
TEREZI: D4V3  
TEREZI: WH4TS UP  
DAVE: just chillin with this cereal  
VRISKA: How is it?  
DAVE: bad  
DAVE: but i wont admit that to karkat or hell hold it over me for the rest of eternity  
DAVE: so here we are  
TEREZI: WH4T3V3R W31RDO  
TEREZI: C4N YOU H3LP US W1TH TH3 K1D

The kid, for reference, is currently asleep in Vriska’s arms.

DAVE: like taking care of her or  
TEREZI: N4H JUST TR4NSL4T1ON  
TEREZI: W3 N33D TO G3T H3R TO H3R P4R3NTS 4S SOON 4S POSS1BL3  
DAVE: thats cool  
DAVE: weve got a spare bedroom for now if you want  
DAVE: its usually jades but shes out for the night  
VRISKA: Yeah, that’d 8e great.  
VRISKA: Where is it?  
DAVE: first door on the right down the hallway  
DAVE: cant miss it

Vriska walks down the hallway, leaving Terezi and Dave alone with Karkat’s sleeping body.

DAVE: i see you found her  
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: >:]  
DAVE: good shit  
TEREZI: Y34H  
DAVE: anything else to really say on the matter?  
TEREZI: OH FOR SUR3  
TEREZI: BUT NOT NOW  
DAVE: fair enough  
DAVE: i must admit im a bit surprised that youve decided to go the kidnapping route  
TEREZI: M3 TOO  
TEREZI: F3LT L1K3 1 N33D3D SOM3 H1GH ST4K3S  
TEREZI: SH4K3 TH1NGS UP 4 B1T 4FT3R 4 GODD4MN SW33P OF H1GH ST4K3S 4DV3NTUR3S  
DAVE: i see  
DAVE: just couldnt get enough then  
DAVE: like bears and honey  
DAVE: always gotta get a bit more  
DAVE: cubs like mom gimme more honey  
DAVE: mom says no but she really wants to say yes  
DAVE: cause shes got that craving too  
TEREZI: 1 COULDNT H4V3 S41D 1T B3TT3R OR MOR3 OBTUS3LY MYS3LF  
DAVE: see i gotchu

Vriska walks back in.

VRISKA: So, um.  
VRISKA: You really weren’t kidding when you said you can’t miss it.  
DAVE: like the decorations then  
DAVE: they really fit with the whole drab aesthetic  
VRISKA: She sure has a way of distinguishing herself, that’s for sure.  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: shes sweet though  
DAVE: for real  
DAVE: dont you ever say i said that though  
TEREZI: CROSS MY H34RT 4ND HOP3 TO D13  
DAVE: anyway we were in the middle of a movie when karkat passed out  
DAVE: hell be up in a few minutes anyway  
DAVE: wanna watch with us

Terezi looks to Vriska, who looks back to Terezi. Vriska gives a little shrug, and Terezi smiles at her.

TEREZI: SUR3  
DAVE: cool

Dave nudges Karkat and maneuvers himself until Karkat’s head rests in his lap. Terezi sits on the chair that Dave previously occupied, and Vriska sits in her lap. Terezi’s heart just about jumps into her throat, but she dares not mention it.

Karkat never does wake up, and Dave ends up falling asleep there on the couch. Terezi does too, and when she wakes up the sun is trying to shine through the blackout curtains lining every window. Vriska has wrapped herself completely around Terezi at some point in the night. Dave and Karkat are both missing, but sounds from down the hallway indicate they’re playing with CT, and may have been for some time now. Terezi leans her head back again and closes her eyes. A couple more minutes won’t hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How weird is it that Vriska walks up to a random person at a random mall who just happens to be an information broker? Just her luck, right? Right?
> 
> Also what the fuck does money have to do in a post-scarcity economy? Fuck if I know, I just live here.


	6. Chapter 6

Terezi wakes up to the sound of sirens outside and thirteen missed calls on her palmhusk. Dave and Karkat are staring out the window, and Dave has CT on his shoulders. Vriska is pacing around behind the door.

VRISKA: Okay, but wh8t do we do????????  
DAVE: honestly i dont think theyll come in here  
DAVE: theyre probably just waiting for you to come out to arrest you  
VRISKA: That doesn’t 8nswer the qu8stion!  
KARKAT: MAYBE YOU WOULD CONSIDER GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE.  
DAVE: dude  
DAVE: im not gonna kick out our guests  
DAVE: i invited them here  
DAVE: jane would never let me live that shit down  
KARKAT: I DIDN’T INVITE THEM HERE AND AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF TELLING THEM TO FUCK OFF.  
KARKAT: NICE TO SEE YOU, GO FUCK YOURSELF, HAVE A NICE LIFE.  
KARKAT: OH, HEY, NICE TO SEE YOU TEREZI.  
KARKAT: PLEASE GET OUT.  
KARKAT: AND TAKE THOSE COPS WITH YOU.

Terezi checks her phone. All of the missed calls are from Roxy. She dials Roxy’s number and is met with their frantic voice almost immediately.

ROXY: dude wtf  
TEREZI: 1S 1T B3TT3R 1F 1 S4Y 1T W4S 4N 4CC1D3NT  
ROXY: not really  
ROXY: wtf happened  
ROXY: and talk fast  
ROXY: its all i can do to keep the cops from busting down daves door rn  
TEREZI: W3 W3R3 TRY1NG TO SH4K3 TH1NGS UP 1 DONT KNOW  
TEREZI: STOL3 4 C4R  
TEREZI: 4ND TH3N TH3R3 W4S 4 K1D

VRISKA: Who is that and why are you ratting us out?  
TEREZI: 1T’S ROXY 4ND 1M TRY1NG TO S4V3 OUR 4SS3S  
DAVE: oh shit really  
DAVE: tell them i said hey

TEREZI: D4V3 S4YS H1  
ROXY: hi dave!!!  
ROXY: anyway  
ROXY: thats it  
ROXY: you didnt just, idk, kidnap an important dignitary’s daughter for ransom or anything right?  
TEREZI: NO  
ROXY: okay  
ROXY: accidental kidnapping  
ROXY: i can work with that at least  
ROXY: i need you to turn yourselves in  
TEREZI: WH4T  
ROXY: i can get you off the hook but youve gotta do exactly what i say kk?  
TEREZI: F1N3  
ROXY: okay  
ROXY: turn the kid over to the cops so they can get her back to her dad  
ROXY: they’ll arrest you, but its no big deal as long as you say these things in this order  
ROXY: i plead the fifth  
ROXY: i am exercising my rights to remain silent and to have a lawyer present for any and all questioning  
ROXY: do you understand?  
TEREZI: Y34H OK4Y  
TEREZI: HOW LONG C4N YOU K33P TH3M OUT  
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 4 F33L1NG SOM3 GOODBY3S 4R3 1N ORD3R  
ROXY: every second is a little bit harder  
ROXY: the troll kingdom is PISSED  
ROXY: but i can buy you another couple of minutes  
TEREZI: OK4Y  
TEREZI: TH4TS GR34T  
TEREZI: TH4NKS ROXY

Terezi flips her palmhusk shut and looks out the window.

TEREZI: OK4Y W3V3 ONLY GOT 4 COUPL3 OF M1NUT3S B3FOR3 TH3Y ST4RT BUST1NG DOWN DOORS  
TEREZI: D4V3 C4N OU H3LP M3 T4LK TO CT??  
DAVE: oh yeah for sure

Dave puts CT down and makes a sign to her. She steps to the side and starts to sign.

DAVE: she says hi  
DAVE: oh wait lemme do this  
DAVE: CT: HELLO!  
DAVE: CT: I AM CATALINA.  
TEREZI: OH SH1T WH4TS UP  
DAVE: CT: WHO ARE THE PEOPLE OUTSIDE?  
TEREZI: THOS3 4R3 UM  
TEREZI: TH3 POL1C3 4CTU4LLY  
TEREZI: TH3YR3 GONN4 T4K3 YOU B4CK TO YOUR D4D  
TEREZI: 1S TH4T OK4Y  
DAVE: CT: OF COURSE!  
DAVE: CT: I CAN HARDLY WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET HIM.  
DAVE: CT: HE IS SO NICE AND FUN AND HE ALWAYS PLAYS WITH ME.  
DAVE: CT: OH, WAIT.  
DAVE: CT: HE IS VERY NICE, AND HE IS VERY FUN, AND HE ALWAYS PLAYS WITH ME.  
DAVE: CT: HE SAYS THAT I SHOULD ALWAYS USE PROPER GRAMMAR, TOO.  
DAVE: oh my god isnt she just the cutest  
TEREZI: D4V3  
DAVE: yeah whatever  
TEREZI: 4CTU4LLY C4T4L1N4 W3 WONT B3 COM1NG W1TH YOU  
DAVE: CT: BUT WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?  
TEREZI: 1 UM  
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW  
VRISKA: 8ut don’t worry too much a8out it.  
VRISKA: 8t’ll 8e sooner than you think.  
VRISKA: :::;)  
DAVE: CT: OH, OKAY.  
DAVE: CT: BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE ME THAT YOU WILL COME VISIT.  
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW 1F TH4TS  
DAVE: CT: PROMISE!  
TEREZI: OK4Y CT  
TEREZI: 1 PROM1S3  
DAVE: CT: YOU TOO, MS. VRISKA.  
VRISKA: Yeah, I’ll 8e around.  
VRISKA: 8ut don’t you dare forget a8out me!  
DAVE: CT: I WOULD NEVER!  
VRISKA: Okay.  
VRISKA: I think it’s a8out time that we get going, yeah?  
TEREZI: Y34H  
TEREZI: D4V3  
TEREZI: K4RK4T  
TEREZI: IT’S B33N GR34T S331NG YOU 4G41N  
DAVE: yep  
KARKAT: YEAH, I’M GOING TO MISS YOU, WHATEVER.  
VRISKA: Don’t worry, we’ll 8e in touch.  
KARKAT: WHY DOES THAT SOUND MORE LIKE A THREAT THAN A PROMISE?  
VRISKA: Hah!  
VRISKA: I can always trust you to keep it real, Karkat.  
VRISKA: That’s what I like a8out you.  
VRISKA: Anyw8y, Catalina?  
DAVE: CT: YES, MA’AM?  
VRISKA: Oh, don’t do that.  
VRISKA: 8ut if you’ll walk out in front of us, please.

Catalina nods her head, then walks to the door. Vriska opens it and puts her hands up. Terezi follows suit, also with her hands up. There are easily twice as many cars out here as were noticeable from the window. Terezi imagines there are an equal, if not greater number of officers on the other side of the house, in case they had tried an escape that way.

Each and every officer is armed to the teeth. Clearly they had been expecting trouble and tried to circumvent that possibility entirely. And it may yet have worked. The chance that they get out of here safely is minimal. And yet, with Vriska in the equation, a low chance is always still a chance. And what kind of mates—moirail would Terezi be if she didn’t give Vriska a chance? Vriska cracks a smile and scans the crowd in front her. Terezi would swear that the sun just dimmed, but it’s back to normal now.

A troll with purple eyes signals for Vriska to hand Catalina over to him. Vriska gives her a little push in his direction.

VRISKA: It’s okay, Catalina.  
VRISKA: We’ll 8e 8ack.

Catalina turns around and hugs Vriska, then comes and hugs Terezi. Terezi pats her on the back once.

TEREZI: GO ON 4H34D NOW

Catalina steps back and turns around. From this angle, it looks like she’s rubbing her eyes, but maybe Terezi’s mistaken. She walks over to the purple-eyed troll, who grabs her and holds her in place in front of him. The Troll Cop shouts more instructions.

TC: gET dOWN oN tHE gROUND nOW

Vriska snickers, then busts out laughing. The sound of an airplane overhead gets louder, and a red glare flashes in the cop’s eyes.

VRISKA: You do know who I am, right?  
VRISKA: Put aw8y your guns, and we’ll come peacefully.  
TC: i wILL gIVE yOU oNE lAST cHANCE  
TC: oN tHE gROUND nOW

A figure in a dark hoodie slinks away from behind the cars.

VRISKA: I will give you one last chance.  
VRISKA: Put.  
VRISKA: Your.  
VRISKA: Guns.  
VRISKA: Away.  
TC: tAKE tHEM iN

A wall of cops rushes forward. Closer, almost all of them smell like blue bloods or higher. A whole class of trolls who lost all their status and decided to fix it with violence. Terezi can’t help but snarl at the thought. The cops form a circle around the two of them. Two in particular come up behind them with handcuffs ready, but as soon as they’re within grabbing distance, a meteor strikes the street right on top of a car.

TC barrels forward, and Catalina just manages to slip between his feet and avoid being crushed. The other trolls fall over in the resulting earthquake. A number of shots ring out, followed by the sound of glass breaking in several houses. By luck alone, none of them hits Terezi or Vriska. Terezi feels her arm nearly come out of socket when Vriska grabs her hand from midair.

VRISKA: Come on!  
VRISKA: We’ve got work to do.

Vriska pulls Terezi up into the sky, and Terezi fumbles with her sylladex until she manages to find and grab her jetpack. She flips it open, then lets go of Vriska’s hand and flies next to her.

TEREZI: COOL M3T3OR  
VRISKA: You work with wh8t you’ve got.  
VRISKA: Where to next?  
TEREZI: W3LL W3 H4V3NT FUCK3D UP TH3 HUM4N K1NGDOM Y3T  
VRISKA: Sounds like a plan.

Terezi pulls out her phone and checks her messages. The first is from Roxy.

ROXY: dude what?  
ROXY: lmao  
TEREZI: Y34H TH3R3 W4S B4S1C4LLY NO CH4NC3 1N H3LL W3 W3R3 TURN1NG OURS3LV3S 1N  
ROXY: yeah i figured  
TEREZI: C4T4L1N4 1S B4CK W1TH TH3 POL1C3 NOW THOUGH  
ROXY: i saw  
ROXY: i dont suppose ull b applying fr citizenship anytime soon, huh  
TEREZI: N4H 1 DONT TH1NK SO  
TEREZI: BUT M4YB3 DONT L3T TH3M PUT US ON TH3 MOST W4NT3D L1ST  
TEREZI: 1 WOULD L1K3 TO COM3 V1S1T FROM T1M3 TO T1M3  
ROXY: ill do my best lol  
ROXY: c u around

The second message is from a number she doesn’t recognize, but a quirk she certainly does.

MS: you sure do know how to make a splash dont you  
MS: meet me aat this aaddress  
MS: i haave some information you might find relevaant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a lot of fun! In retrospect, I might have made the cave scene its own fic on the side; I'm not quite sure the pacing works there. I did like the focus that doing one longer-form fic forced me to have, although it was also kind of limiting in some ways. Anyway, I can't wait to see what y'all think of the last chapter! <3


End file.
